Bleddie Vroue bestuurders

 I was plucked from my virtual world, laughing my head off over this one! Thanx Mary!

Vanoggend terwyl ek op die snelweg ry, kyk ek oor my skouer en sien ‘n vrou hier langs my…..in ‘n splinternuwe Polo, met haar gesig tot teenaan die tru-spieëltjie gedruk, besig om Maskara aan te sit. Kan jy dit glo?

 Ek het net vir n paar sekondes weggekyk, maar toe ek my weer kon kry, is sy halfpad oor in my baan, nog steeds besig met haar bleddie maskara. Nou kyk, as ‘n man skrik ek normaalweg nie maklik nie. Maar die vroumens het my so die horries gegee dat ek my elektriese skeermes uit my hand laat val, wat op sy beurt die Steak-en-kidney pastei uit my ander hand laat glip en ‘n gemors op die gear lever laat los het.

In die hele deurmekaarspul – terwyl ek die kar probeer stuur met my knieë – glip die selfoon toe weg van my oor, drop in die vuurwarm Wimpy koffie tussen my bene, verbrand vir Grootseun en die tweeling dat ek gil van pyn en natuurlik my sigaret voor in my hemp laat val. Die gevolg: my selfoon in sy moer, my broek papnat, my nasaat masjien uit aksie vir wie weet hoe lank, my beste hemp vol gate gebrand en ek het boonop ‘n donderse baie belangrike oorsese oproep verloor.

Bleddie vroumens-bestuurders…………………

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Tips on improving productivity…. (the south African version)

Dakota Native American tribal wisdom, passed on from generation to generation, says: “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse.” 

However, in educative, corporate and governmental South Africa, more advanced strategies are employed, such as: 

  1. Buying a stronger whip.
  2. Changing riders. 
  3. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 
  4. Arranging to visit to other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses. 
  5. Lowering the standards so that the dead horse can be included. 
  6. Reclassifying the dead horse as ‘living impaired’. 
  7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse. 
  8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed. 
  9. Providing additional funding and / or training to increase dead horse’s performance. 
  10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance. 
  11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses. 
  12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses. 
  13. And of course …Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position!

If you understand the above, then you are obviously a South African!

 
 

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