ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was  walking through the woods. ‘What majestic trees!’ ‘What powerful  rivers!’ ‘What beautiful animals!’ He said to himself. As  he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling  in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot  grizzly bear charge towards  him. He ran as fast as  he could up the […]

TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!!

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the other sisters, ‘Was I getting in or out of the bath?’ The 94-year-old yells back, ‘I don’t know.  I’ll come up and see.’  She starts […]

WHO IS JACK SCHITT ?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt’! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, […]

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN JOHANNESBURG

Indicating will give away your next move. A real Joburg driver never uses them. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled by at least 2 taxis, two Golfs, a BMW and an Uno, putting you in an even […]

THE SPOILT UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

Last years matrics has never not known cellphones, TV, ipods, and all the mathingie-jigs of our 21st century world. So when Lanie send me this I had a really good chuckle! If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears […]

Avoid drinking water

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don’t. As Ben Franklin said : In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the […]

Italien Pasta Diet

1.. You walk pasta da bakery. 2… You walka pasta da candy store. 3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop. 4.. You walka pasta da table and fridge. You will lose weight! AND…. For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. 1. The Japanese eat […]

Don’t argue with a woman, Full stop!

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Ranger in his boat.  He pulls up alongside the woman and […]

Paddy & Jimmy

A man was placed in intensive care; needles stuck everywhere, tubes running over his disease-ridden body like a spider’s web, nearly comatose. A week later, a second man was put in the same room in very nearly the same condition.   Both men lay there, near death, machines pinging, oxygen tubes, puffing, monitors ding-donging, lights […]

Why Dogs Are Not In Politics…

Why Dogs Are Not In Politics… View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: why not)