ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was  walking through the woods. ‘What majestic trees!’ ‘What powerful  rivers!’ ‘What beautiful animals!’ He said to himself. As  he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling  in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot  grizzly bear charge towards  him. He ran as fast as  he could up the […]

TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!!

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the other sisters, ‘Was I getting in or out of the bath?’ The 94-year-old yells back, ‘I don’t know.  I’ll come up and see.’  She starts […]

8 things woman should avoid during the world cup 2010

This is a very important instruction guide to survival for the next month…. Do not change the channel  to Generations – he is watching Soccer! Don’t ask about  Beckham  (he is not there) and no-one cares. Support the same team as him……..please  its for your own safety. Avoid moving in front of the screen ……..right […]

The difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically

A young boy went up to his father and asked him,’Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?’ The father thought for a moment, then answered, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a […]

6 Management lessons you have to know!

This is a condensed management course with all you ever need to know! Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the […]

Why men shouldn’t write advice columns

Thanx Mark for this one….

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN JOHANNESBURG

Indicating will give away your next move. A real Joburg driver never uses them. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled by at least 2 taxis, two Golfs, a BMW and an Uno, putting you in an even […]

THE SPOILT UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

Last years matrics has never not known cellphones, TV, ipods, and all the mathingie-jigs of our 21st century world. So when Lanie send me this I had a really good chuckle! If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears […]

Avoid drinking water

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don’t. As Ben Franklin said : In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the […]

Oud word

Ek het so baie groot verjaarsdae hierdie maand dat ek nie kan help om die volgende tot almal se aandag te bring nie. (Dankie Lanie) Jy besef jy is besig om oud te raak as … Jy agterop ‘n nuwe CD nie kan agterkom watter is die lied se naam en watter is die sanger(s) […]