WHO IS JACK SCHITT ?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt’! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her
previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock….

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement
in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt’, you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

(thanx to Monica for this one)

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The 3 little pigs

(Got this form Gaylin- and had a good laugh…)


This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically. 


A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. 
 

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.  

She read … ‘and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said:  

‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’ 
The teacher paused then asked the class: 
‘And what do you think the man said?’ 
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly.
 

‘I think the man would have said – ‘Well, f*ck me!! A talking pig!’ 

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 

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