8 things woman should avoid during the world cup 2010

This is a very important instruction guide to survival for the next month….

  • Do not change the channel  to Generations – he is watching Soccer!
  • Don’t ask about  Beckham  (he is not there) and no-one cares.
  • Support the same team as him……..please  its for your own safety.
  • Avoid moving in front of the screen ……..right now he feels he is in the stadium and as a supporter he might throw missiles at you.
  • Don’t tell him  “it’s just a game”………to him it is bigger than  your  50th marriage anniversary put  together.
  • Focus on the issue at hand (soccer match)…..other minor things (paying bills, how your day was, the kids, and groceries) can be discussed in July……. (after the final).
  • In case of a loss…………….avoid eye contact and deviate your conversation to other things (not soccer)……as it may affect his temper.

Golden last rule

  • Never……. Ever…… touch the remote……..you might work up in hospital.

Happy world cup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Thanx Nompilo for sending me this one)

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A fab guide to online music!!!

“In forty illustrated pages, Will Mueller from willm.me tells you all you need to know about free internet listening to music, streaming audio to your computer, and free download music sites to get all your favorite songs and albums in a whim. Learn how to share music with others and track a band’s performance and album releases!”

MakeUseOf.com – The Internet Music Guidebook

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Nigella vs a Real Woman

1. Nigella’s Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.
The Real Woman’s Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for goodness sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

2. Nigella’s Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Woman’s Way
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

3. Nigella’s Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Woman’s Way
Spar sells cakes. They even do decorated versions.

4. Nigella’s Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
The Real Woman’s Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s tough! Please recite with me the Real Woman’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how it tastes.”

5. Nigella’s Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
The Real Woman’s Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

6. Nigella’s Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Woman’s Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it into 8 ounces of vodka : Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won’t care!

7. Nigella’s Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Woman’s Way
Why do I have a man?

8. Nigella’s Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles.
The Real Woman’s Way
Left over wine???? Helllloooo!

(Thanx Nicole for sending me this one)
And to head on over to more ingenous tips form Nigella, click here

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How to buy your wife a present

I have been fortunate to have had another birthday and another anniversary within 2 weeks of each other. As always I have a rather opportunistic view on both and believe in making the most if it rather than seeing it as downhill road. And in any case, downhill is better for me as I sweat less! Which brings me to the issue of presents….

Husbands and presents are mutually irreconcilable concepts. No, ladies, they cannot read your mind. And they will never know you well enough to buy the perfect present. And if they know you well enough, they will buy the wrong brand.  Guaranteed. And we can keep on telling ourselves that it is the thought that counts, but, my darlings, on a primal wife level, it does not do it for us! Be serious now.

But back to me. I am blessed with an extraordinary husband. He is kind, loving, generous, and a real mensch, but his ability to buy me a present is akin to the Lions winning the Super 14 this year (to relate it to something husbands will be able to understand). Not going to happen. I, on the other hand has been raised in a home where giving and getting a present is a whole sacred process. Lots of time is spend on who the person is, what would make him/her happy and, more important, what present would make him/her remember you by that mere token that you have bestowed upon the recipient. This concept is totally alien to husbands on the whole. My husband has therefore, over the years, developed a grave fear of “happenings” , understandably, as he is sure to fail miserably! So what to do?????

So I decided to put a guideline together to assist hubbies to do more or less, the right thing.

Suggestion number 1:

Get wife to make a list of things she would like to have that will make her happy as well as things that will make her more comfortable across a range of price options. Also, do not ask her to do it a day/week before the happening- we need time to go and explore for some ideas (and check prices). And believe it or not, we are aware of budgetary constraints, so don’t be restrictive, tell us to dream and be practical in compiling the list (we can multitask). We are good with lists. Also, ask us to number lists according to

  • Must haves (1)
  • Would like (2)
  • Would like to have, but know it is a bit on the pricey side and will be great for special happenings. (3)
  • Suitable ideas for the sponsored children presents (4)

Then look at what you can afford, add 20% to that, move on to suggestion number two

Suggestion no 2:
Give the aforementioned list to a good friend or family member who is close to your wife. Remember, that even if you are armed with a fail- prove list, you might still be tempted to buy the wrong brand at the wrong shop for slightly cheaper, or whatever! So the input of a confidante will be priceless, like the MasterCard advert says!  If you do not want to go the list way, the friend-of-wife route can also be advantageous in doing a more subtle investigation of needs. Friends usually shop together, talk together and mention things which are stored in our memory bank for retrieval for just such an occasion as a present. Go on, ask a friend.

Suggestion no 3: (ode to Lanie)

A secretary who values her boss’s wife’s “happening” calendar, is a prize beyond riches. Make sure that you make that part of the job requirement. Here I just have to mention Lanie. She kept her own list and made sure to ask me on a regular basis for ideas and hints. Then she added her own flair and made sure that my husband remembers to buy the gift or got it herself (I never knew).  So if you are blessed with one such a secretary, go ahead, leave it in her good hands. She will guide you through the process.

Suggestion no 4
If you are really stumped for ideas or time (bad boy), a wonderful redeeming safety valve idea is to outsource the gift process. You can either contact Lanie (see suggestion no 3) or have the professionals do it for you. This year husband made use of one such a service which specialise in facilitating gifts in South Africa and the UK, called the Giftlady (www.giftlady.co.za) She delivered a beautifully wrapped large box via courier, filled with all kinds of my favourite goodies (chocolates, candles and jewellery) on the day, just as I thought that he has forgotten!

Suggestion no 5 (for the wives)

Get over yourself -I know I have had to on occasion- with pleasant consequences!. Stop striving for that telepathic connection, stop living in the hope that husbands catch hints and come right out and tell him what you want. Even if it means that you have to buy the present yourself- just as long as you have his credit card. For our 10th anniversary I “gifted” myself with a very expensive computer bag on wheels, from him of course. And every time I run across the tarmac with my bag flying gracefully behind me, I think of him and smile. This year I will be visiting the day spa at Mangwanani (My favourite www.mangwanani.co.za) He is happy and I am happy- very much so! So, speak up woman!

Suggestion no 6 (for tough economic times)
If your budget is straining in these tight times, don’t worry, wives are actually not that hard to please. Essentially we want to know that you love us and if you put in that extra bit of thought, effort and caring, no expensive gift can compete! So some quick ideas….

  • A box filled with poems (print off internet
    http://www.lovepoemsandquotes.com/ ) combined with chocolates and a smelly (powder/ soaps… for husbands that do not know what ”smelly” stand for- or maybe they do!)
  • A box filled with vouchers
    • I will do a……back massage/ foot tickle/ head message for ½ hour (the lenght of their attention span)
    • I will wash your car/feed the dog/give the kids a hiding
    • No sex tonight/sex please – vouchers (depending on her needs)
    • No sport voucher (No exeptions- a show of real love)
  • Don’t forget about “money-for-honey” stowed away in your e-bucks or credit card loyalty system!
  • If you know about something that she really want, but cannot afford it, club together with kids, friends and family and buy a collective gift of value (ps I need a new laptop)

Lastly, do not and I repeatedly say, DO NOT:

  • Buy perfume unless you know her favourites and it is finished
    (check her dressing table)
  • Buy handbags (forget it- you are not that talented)
  • Buy appliances (even if she needs them) or furniture or anything for the house
  • Buy a big screen TV for her to better watch the sport with you!
  • Tell her you will get a present later (translated: you do not give a flying …banana)

So wives, what do you say? Any other suggestions?

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Supporting your child with homework

We all know what it is like when our child comes to us the day before an assignment is due at school and ask us to help them with it. What they actually mean is that we have to PLEASE do it FOR them. And as a tight feeling mounts at the bottoms of our stomachs, we frantically start Googling on the internet for material. We SO desperately need them to get acceptable marks. So what do we do? Jip, we quickly put together a cut and paste for them to “work from”….

Seeing that I have the T-shirt (been there, done that, mother hat), I decided to blog about how it actually SHOULD be done if we REALLY care about giving our child a LEARNING EXPERIENCE, which I would think…is the actual objective of assignments…..(Teacher’s hat). The problem is that teachers teach their subjects and they do not teach their learners the HOW of sourcing relevant information on the Internet and critically evaulating the material, mainly because…uhhh…they do not know themselves how to use the Internet effectively!

So please go and see my blog giving some STARTER ideas on how go about helping your child with projects and assignments…. at www.school2.co.za

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Xmas gift idea

A bit embarrassing to admit, my annual bonus has been depleted and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts.  Please let me know your sizes. You’ll most likely agree that it’s a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I’ve included the instructions below:

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

  • You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
  • Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.
  • The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.
  • Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.
  • Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most
    aesthetically appealing), etc.
  • These slippers are:
    *        Soft and Hygienic
    *        Non-slip grip strips on the soles
    *        Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
    *        No more bending over to mop up spills
    *        Disposable and biodegradable
    *        Environmentally safe
    *        Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light day, and Get out the Sand Bags.

I’ve attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty
slippers for yourself….

xmasslippers.bmpAwaiting your response. It’s crucial that I get the right size for each one
of you.

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