Is a computer male or female?

Thanx to big Shani for this one. Instead of sending it on to all the smart women I know…and all the men that have a good sense of humour (I don`t know any) I am posting it here….
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
 House for instance, is feminine: la casa.
Pencil, however, is masculine: el lapiz.
A student asked, What gender is ‘computer`?

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer should be a masculine or a feminine noun.  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men`s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computadora), because:
1.    No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2.    The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3.    Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4.    As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women`s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine el computador), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can`t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

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Technology nearly killed me!!!

If this entry closes off abruptly, then you know that I am no longer.
My virtual me…no more….gone…nne……… ……………………  

………. ….  

.. .  

Okay, I am back, for a moment there, I had noooo internet access ..none. And this while I am doing a talk about the use of Web 2 for NGO’s…which by definition happens online. So no access, no power, no talk.  So how do you bring the power of web 2 across if you do not have access? For the first time in a while I had to experience what most South Africans accept as everyday life…non connectiveness. We tried to connect using more traditional methods as can be seen here…but somehow it was not the same.  

How do you tell people about how tagging works and the power of folksonomies and social networking sites and tools, without having the basic tool to do so…internet access. Anxiety attack.  

So, what we are going to do is to invite any NGO-bro out here there that is not on top of web 2, to dust off their mouse, plug in, and learn with us, step by step. As it is blog week for NGO’s let’s all get blogging. If you ask how or why, then join us in our web 2-on the slow- for NGO’s web group and participate so that we can experience the potential that it can have for our organisations….  The photos of my non-connected talk about how to be connected on the internet is here 

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Curry-on laughing…..

I always can count on Lanie to send me something to cheer me up. But I also do not have time to pass it on, thereby contributing to the general chaos of bandwidth death. So I have thought up another way where friends can choose if they feel like laughing…I will send them a link every time I upload a funny.

My personal favourite of the moment is this one. Cannot remember who send it to me, but I had stomach ache after I read it…

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there’s no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly…..

The curry cook-off:

Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.

Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted”.

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2– Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3(Frank) — Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These people are crazy.

Judge # 1– Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3– Keep this out of the reach of children.  I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to  rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Judge # 1– Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2– A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3– Call 911. I’ve located a uraniums pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting pissed from all the beer.

Judge # 1– Black bean curry with almost no spice.  Disappointing.
Judge # 2– Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3– I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds?  Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills.  That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT…just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Judge # 1– Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2– Average beef curry, could use more tomato.  Must admit the chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.  Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off.  It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

Judge # 1– Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry.  Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2– The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3– My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone ice-cream.

Judge # 1– A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2– Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to  be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3– You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull  the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing- it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Judge # 1– The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2– This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when
Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself.  Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 – No Report.________________________________


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