Posts belonging to Category Funny

ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was  walking through the woods. ‘What majestic trees!’ ‘What powerful  rivers!’ ‘What beautiful animals!’ He said to himself. As  he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling  in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot  grizzly bear charge towards  him. He ran as fast as  he could up the […]

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

Ingredients: * 2 cups flour * 1 stick butter * 1 cup of water * 1 tsp baking  soda * 1 cup of  sugar * 1 tsp  salt * 1 cup of  brown sugar *  Lemon juice * 4  large eggs *  Nuts * 2  bottles wine * 2  cups of dried fruit Sample the […]

Strategic incompetance

Anaconda

*(Skrywer: Naam weerhou om “veiligheids”redes)* Ek is ? pa. Soms moet ek my soos ? pa gedra. In die ou dae was dit albasters, tolle en ketties. Dinge het verander. So twee weke gelede fluister die twee stoutgat buurkinders oorkant die straat mos die woorde ” GOLD REEF CITY ” vir my laaitie. Nou wat […]

We had wireless access 250 years ago!!!

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Brit’s, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist […]

TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!!

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the other sisters, ‘Was I getting in or out of the bath?’ The 94-year-old yells back, ‘I don’t know.  I’ll come up and see.’  She starts […]

Why we love children…

I love the things kids come up with! Monicah send me these….

WHO IS JACK SCHITT ?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt’! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, […]

8 things woman should avoid during the world cup 2010

This is a very important instruction guide to survival for the next month…. Do not change the channel  to Generations – he is watching Soccer! Don’t ask about  Beckham  (he is not there) and no-one cares. Support the same team as him……..please  its for your own safety. Avoid moving in front of the screen ……..right […]

The difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically

A young boy went up to his father and asked him,’Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?’ The father thought for a moment, then answered, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a […]